01 · Roasts
GitHub as a USB Drive
Three repos, 40 commits in a year, 0 stars, 0 followers. You're not using GitHub as a portfolio — you're using it as cloud storage for notebooks you'll never open again.
The 4-Minute Quantum Physicist
Quantum-Wildfire-Detection was created AND last pushed within the same 4 minutes. Schrödinger's project: simultaneously a breakthrough and a forgotten file dump.
95% Jupyter, 0% Tests
Not a single test file across any of your 3 repos. Your entire public output is unverified notebooks. The quantum one might actually be computing nonsense — you'd never know.
License? What License?
Zero out of three repos have a license. Legally, nobody can use, modify, or redistribute any of your code. Congrats on accidentally achieving maximum copyright protection through sheer neglect.
The Heatmap is Just a Heatmap
Your contribution heatmap is 52 weeks of darkness interrupted by 5 cells of activity. It doesn't say 'consistent developer' — it says 'deadline approaching'.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight25F
- Consistency20% weight20F
- Quality20% weight52D
- Depth15% weight50D
- Breadth10% weight25F
- Community10% weight5F
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
6 active days
Language distribution
- Jupyter Notebook95%
- Python5%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
3
Commits
last 12 months
40
Followers
0
Joined GitHub
May 2020
05 · Top repos
Alpha-Aru /
Multimodal-Audiofake-Detection
Audio deepfake detector with tri-modal TriSpectra model, Gradio web app, and research pipeline. Typed Python, structured src/, meaningful docs, but personal project with 0 stars and no tests/CI.
Alpha-Aru /
LSE
Academic internship project containing 4 Jupyter notebooks analyzing macroeconomic data (Backus-Smith, inflation, call reports) with minimal documentation, no tests, no CI, hardcoded paths, and single-week commit window (2024-06-21 only).
Alpha-Aru /
Quantum-Wildfire-Detection
Educational Kaggle notebook demonstrating hybrid quantum-classical ML for wildfire detection using PennyLane. Single Jupyter file, minimal README, no tests/CI/license, created and pushed within hours on 2026-04-09.
06 · Timeline
- May 6, 2020Joined GitHub
- Jun 21, 2024Created LSE — Data Science Internship in LSE Department of Macroeconomics
- Aug 28, 2025Created Multimodal-Audiofake-Detection — Detecting audio deepfakes with novel multimodal analysis
- Apr 9, 2026Created Quantum-Wildfire-Detection — Wildfire detection using hybrid quantum-classical machine learning
- May 23, 2026Most recent push to Multimodal-Audiofake-Detection
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.