01 · Roasts
CI/CD? Never heard of her.
Eight repos analyzed. Zero CI pipelines. Not one GitHub Actions workflow. You've got bcrypt timing-attack mitigation in BigBrother-Alpha but can't spare 20 lines of YAML to automate a test run. The irony is deafening.
The 2-Minute Repo
horse-plinko's entire commit history spans a 2-minute window. That's less time than it takes to write a README. You shipped Matter.js physics, Web Audio, Canvas rendering, AND FastAPI... in 120 seconds. Either you're lying to Git or lying to yourself.
3 followers, 64 PRs
You opened 64 pull requests this year on other people's code but somehow only convinced 3 people to follow you. You're out here doing community service with the social media presence of a burner account.
Alpha Perpetually
BigBrother-Alpha, WallHacks (3 days old), agileScumBoard (4 days old) — your portfolio is a graveyard of Week-1 enthusiasm. The NestJSTemplate is literally just a template for projects you'll abandon next month.
43% Objective-C
Nearly half your codebase by bytes is Objective-C, yet not a single scored repo shows Objective-C. Whatever that repo is, it's doing heavy lifting for a language that hasn't been primary since 2015. Mystery meat detected.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight56D
- Consistency20% weight60C
- Quality20% weight69C
- Depth15% weight55D
- Breadth10% weight65C
- Community10% weight50D
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
130 active days
Language distribution
- Objective-C43%
- Makefile17%
- TypeScript16%
- Python6%
- Dart4%
- JavaScript3%
- Other11%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
20
Commits
last 12 months
396
Followers
3
Joined GitHub
Oct 2023
05 · Top repos
DiamondJdev /
BigBrother-Alpha
TypeScript/NestJS enterprise application sandbox evaluation platform with full auth, JWT token rotation, Redis caching, PostgreSQL persistence, TypeORM, logging, and Jest tests; well-structured but very early-stage (1 month old, 12 stars).
DiamondJdev /
NestJSTemplate
Production-ready NestJS backend template with JWT auth, RBAC, TypeORM + SQLite, structured logging, and tests. Actively maintained personal starter project showing shipped architecture patterns.
DiamondJdev /
agileScumBoard
Educational multi-tenant SaaS dashboard for simulating Agile workflows. TypeScript + Next.js 14 with Zustand state management, drag-and-drop Kanban, daily check-ins, and admin analytics. Well-structured, typed, and documented with comprehensive ARCHITECTURE.md. Extremely fresh (4 days old, 2 of 30 commits sampled), no
DiamondJdev /
WallHacks
Early-stage sensor fusion AR project combining MacBook pose detection + iPhone 15 Pro ARKit tracking via WebSocket. MVP with Python MediaPipe backend, typed Swift iOS client, and architectural ambition, but minimal external adoption and constrained runtime (3 days old).
DiamondJdev /
VexV5PiServer
TypeScript Pi bridge for VEX V5 remote code upload via FastAPI + Next.js dashboard. Personal project with 1 star, ~10k LOC from creation to ~10mo tenure, but lacks tests, CI, and production hardening despite meaningful README and structured code.
DiamondJdev /
horse-plinko
A playable Plinko game with Matter.js physics and Web Audio procedural sounds, built in ~1 week with FastAPI backend and vanilla JS frontend. Well-documented but experimental scope with minimal adoption signals.
DiamondJdev /
MNIST-federated
Educational federated learning demo on MNIST with 5 rounds of clients aggregating weights. Clean PyTorch implementation but minimal scope, no tests/CI, and created/pushed same day.
DiamondJdev /
DiamondJdev
GitHub profile config repository with profile README containing personal bio and skill badges. No functional code, no tests, no CI, single-purpose profile branding artifact.
06 · Timeline
- Oct 13, 2023Joined GitHub
- Oct 13, 2023Created DiamondJdev — Config files for my GitHub profile.
- May 28, 2025Created VexV5PiServer — A Raspberry Pi 4 Server meant to act as a man-in-the-middle for communications via SSH from the internet to a Vex V5 Brain for code execution and debugging
- Aug 27, 2025Created NestJSTemplate — An opinionated NestJS template that serves as a starter for all of my backends. Complete with JWT Auth, User Management, TypeORM integrations, and more
- Feb 6, 2026Created agileScumBoard
- Mar 6, 2026Created BigBrother-Alpha
- Mar 23, 2026Created MNIST-federated — Federated learning project distributing learning of the MNIST hand written characters database to clients while a host aggregates weights into one model.
- Mar 24, 2026Created WallHacks — Sensor fusion to allow clients to view people through walls in sight of a camera
- Apr 3, 2026Created horse-plinko — A Plinko game with realistic physics, multiple object types, and horse neigh sound effects
- Apr 27, 2026Most recent push to DiamondJdev
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.