01 · Roasts
The Graveyard Keeper
96% of your 120 repos haven't been touched in 2+ years. You're not a developer, you're a digital archaeologist curating your own ruins.
3 Commits in a Year
totalCommitsYear: 3. THREE. Your heatmap is a horror movie — dense green blocks from years past then a full 'flat line' fadeout. The patient has left the building.
Deprecated at Delivery
Your most-starred repo (mongoose-subpopulate, 27 ⭐) is explicitly superseded by Mongoose 3.6+ vanilla support — meaning you shipped a fix for a problem that was already being patched upstream. Bold strategy.
HTML is 77% of Your Soul
You work at Meta Superintelligence Lab but 77% of your public GitHub is HTML. The gap between the LinkedIn bio and the language pie chart is... something.
Two PRs, One Issue
365 followers from a legendary career bio, and you contributed a grand total of 2 PRs and 1 issue to the open-source ecosystem this year. The followers are investing on credit.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight28F
- Consistency20% weight20F
- Quality20% weight42D
- Depth15% weight35F
- Breadth10% weight55D
- Community10% weight40D
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
269 active days
Language distribution
- HTML77%
- JavaScript10%
- Vim Script7%
- Haskell3%
- PHP1%
- Objective-C1%
- Other1%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
26
Commits
last 12 months
3
Followers
365
Joined GitHub
Apr 2009
05 · Top repos
JoshuaGross /
objc-ios-benchmarks
Educational benchmarking suite for iOS Objective-C runtime performance (weak vs strong pointers, try/catch overhead, array deduplication). Minimal adoption (20 stars, 1 fork), no tests/CI, but clearly functional with readable README documenting methodology and findings.
JoshuaGross /
mongoose-subpopulate
Deprecated monkey-patch library for Mongoose nested population, last updated March 2013. Typed JavaScript with tests but no CI, minimal adoption (27 stars), explicitly superseded by Mongoose 3.6+ vanilla support.
JoshuaGross /
md2anki
Minimal utility script converting markdown to Anki flashcard decks. Only 12 stars, single 88-line entrypoint, untyped JavaScript, no tests/CI. Shipping a working tool but with thin maintenance trajectory (2 commits over 2 days in April 2017, no activity since).
06 · Timeline
- Apr 5, 2009Joined GitHub
- Aug 21, 2012Created mongoose-subpopulate — A monkey-patch of the populate Mongoose library for using MongoDB in Node.js apps. Subpopulate allows you to nest populate calls.
- Oct 11, 2013Created objc-ios-benchmarks — Objective-C iOS benchmarks for better understanding of Objective-C and the Objective-C runtime on iOS.
- Apr 25, 2017Created md2anki — Convert markdown files to anki card deck (apkg) files.
- Apr 27, 2017Most recent push to md2anki
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.