01 · Roasts
One Language, One Trick
97% JavaScript across 101 repos. You've been on GitHub since 2009 and the most exotic thing in your portfolio is 1% CoffeeScript. TypeScript? Python? Go? The year 2015 called, it wants its monolingual Node.js dev back.
The Graveyard Keeper
staleRepoRatio of 0.95 — that's 96 out of 101 repos that haven't been touched in 2+ years. You didn't build a portfolio, you built a JavaScript cemetery and you're the groundskeeper.
Nuked Colors.js and Called It a Day
You had one of npm's most-depended-on libraries, broke the internet with a protest commit in January 2022, and now your bio is a crypto pump address. The arc from open-source legend to... this... is genuinely impressive in the worst way.
4,545 Followers, 0 PRs
Nearly 5k people are watching you, and in the past year you've submitted exactly zero pull requests to other projects. The audience assembled, and you ghosted them.
Burst-and-Vanish Commit Pattern
828 commits but the heatmap tells the real story: weeks 1–29 are a fireworks show, then weeks 30–42 are a complete flatline. You commit like you're trying to impress someone, then disappear when you think they've stopped watching.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight73B
- Consistency20% weight55D
- Quality20% weight62C
- Depth15% weight70B
- Breadth10% weight28F
- Community10% weight55D
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
209 active days
Language distribution
- JavaScript97%
- CoffeeScript1%
- HTML1%
- Perl0%
- Other1%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
56
Commits
last 12 months
828
Followers
4,545
Joined GitHub
Apr 2009
05 · Top repos
Marak /
say.js
Cross-platform TTS Node.js library with 1532 stars, 13+ years of maintenance, typed definitions, CI via Travis, and platform-specific implementations (macOS, Linux, Windows), but lacks test suite and architectural documentation.
Marak /
colors.js
Popular ANSI color library for Node.js with 5.1k stars. Well-documented with tests and CI, typed definitions, clean architecture. Untyped JS but achieves production-ready status through comprehensive API and long maintenance history.
Marak /
pdf.js
Deprecated PDF generation library from 2010–2013 with minimal tests, no CI, untyped JavaScript, and explicit "Do not use" README. Only 397 stars and last commit in 2013.
06 · Timeline
- Apr 3, 2009Joined GitHub
- Jun 11, 2010Created colors.js — get colors in your node.js console
- Jun 11, 2010Created say.js — TTS (text to speech) for node.js. send text from node.js to your speakers.
- Jun 16, 2010Created pdf.js — Project Deprecated
- Jun 14, 2023Most recent push to colors.js
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.