01 · Roasts
Speed-run README
You created your entire GitHub presence in 30 seconds — 2 commits, 0 lines of real code. That's not a portfolio, that's a Post-it note on an empty desk.
Language: Unknown
GitHub literally cannot identify a single programming language in your repos. 100% 'Unknown' is a new level of mystery — the kind that comes from not writing any code.
Ghost Town Activity
2 commits in a full year and a heatmap that's almost entirely black. Even crypto wallets have more on-chain activity than your GitHub.
Zero Social Footprint
0 followers, 0 following, 0 PRs, 0 issues. You joined GitHub and immediately went into witness protection.
Badges Without Cause
Your profile README proudly displays GitHub stats widgets — for an account with 2 commits and 0 stars. That's like framing your attendance trophy.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight5F
- Consistency20% weight5F
- Quality20% weight10F
- Depth15% weight5F
- Breadth10% weight5F
- Community10% weight5F
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
2 active days
Language distribution
- Unknown100%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
1
Commits
last 12 months
2
Followers
0
Joined GitHub
Jan 2026
05 · Top repos
06 · Timeline
- Jan 5, 2026Joined GitHub
- Mar 5, 2026Created PoggyBobby — profile
- Mar 5, 2026Most recent push to PoggyBobby
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.