01 · Roasts
The Heatmap Is a Void
52 weeks, 364 cells, 0 commits. Your GitHub contribution graph looks like a black hole event horizon — light (or code) doesn't escape from it. totalCommitsYear = 0 is not a slump, it's a lifestyle choice.
allyvalley: Blinked and Missed It
7 commits in 1 day, then silence for 2+ years. The broken test in widget_test.dart is still faithfully testing a counter widget that doesn't exist — a ghost haunting an empty Flutter scaffold.
62% HTML, But Make It Mysterious
Your language breakdown is 62% HTML yet your domainGuess is 'systems.' That's the most intriguing contradiction since someone called a CSS file a backend service.
githubroaster Roasts Others, Not Itself
You built an app to roast GitHub profiles while your own profile has 0 stars, no README, and hardcoded token patterns. The irony is load-bearing structural code at this point.
Half the Repos Are Abandoned
staleRepoRatio = 0.52 — statistically speaking, every second repo you open hasn't seen a commit in over 2 years. The graveyard-to-garden ratio is not in your favor.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight40D
- Consistency20% weight55D
- Quality20% weight57D
- Depth15% weight50D
- Breadth10% weight65C
- Community10% weight25F
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
0 active days
Language distribution
- HTML62%
- Python10%
- Go10%
- C++8%
- JavaScript4%
- CMake2%
- Other4%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
29
Commits
last 12 months
0
Followers
34
Joined GitHub
Oct 2021
05 · Top repos
SRV332003 /
go_music
Active CLI music player for terminal coding with YouTube scraping, local playback, and fuzzy search. Typed Go, multi-package architecture, MIT licensed, comprehensive docs. No tests/CI but well-structured and maintained.
SRV332003 /
githubroaster
A Streamlit web app that uses LangChain & GitHub API to generate humorous "roasts" of GitHub profiles. No README, no tests, minimal structure, and experimental one-off project with 0 stars.
SRV332003 /
allyvalley
Flutter starter template with boilerplate TabBar UI, minimal implementation, 7 commits over 1 day. No meaningful functionality, generic Flutter scaffolding, broken test harness (references non-existent counter).
06 · Timeline
- Oct 4, 2021Joined GitHub
- Aug 13, 2023Created allyvalley
- Dec 18, 2023Created go_music — A perfect music companion for you and your Terminal.🔥🔥
- Jul 9, 2024Created githubroaster
- Oct 9, 2025Most recent push to githubroaster
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.