01 · Roasts
Burst-and-Ghost Developer
38 commits in a year, scattered across ~8 non-consecutive weeks. Your GitHub looks less like a career and more like a series of school deadlines arriving and then immediately vanishing.
The Academic Portfolio
Every single repo is either 'A-Level coursework', 'Part 1A supo', or a 48-hour hackathon. One star total across 11 repos — that lone star might be you, checking if it works.
CI? Never Heard of Her
Zero repos have continuous integration. Snek-Game has EditorTests that aren't CI-integrated, Vector2D has JUnit but no pipeline. You write tests like a person who writes tests to say they wrote tests.
Community of One
0 PRs, 0 issues, 4 followers, 4 following — you and your 4 followers exist in perfect, isolated symmetry. GitHub is a social network and you are treating it like a private NAS.
50% Graveyard Rate
Half your repos haven't been touched in over 2 years. The stale repos aren't a graveyard — they're a museum exhibit titled 'Things Archie Started During GCSEs'.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight25F
- Consistency20% weight55D
- Quality20% weight57D
- Depth15% weight50D
- Breadth10% weight40D
- Community10% weight25F
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
20 active days
Language distribution
- C#72%
- Python26%
- Java2%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
10
Commits
last 12 months
38
Followers
4
Joined GitHub
Jul 2020
05 · Top repos
VeggyMeat /
Snek-Game
A Level school project: a Vampire Survivors-inspired snake game in Unity/C#. Typed, documented, structured multi-file architecture with game mechanics (snake bodies, enemies, items, shop), but thin release footprint and experimental scope.
VeggyMeat /
The_Mis-Interpreter
2nd place CamHack '25 hackathon project: transpiles C code to Python, Scratch, Excel, Mindustry, and Minecraft. Untyped Python with solid architecture, comprehensive README documentation, working multi-transpiler system, but no tests/CI and 4-day burst development window.
VeggyMeat /
Vector2D
University assignment: minimal 2KB Vector2D library with 7 core math methods, basic unit tests, and no documentation or publication intent.
06 · Timeline
- Jul 1, 2020Joined GitHub
- Mar 25, 2023Created Snek-Game — SNKRX - Vampire Survivors
- Nov 21, 2024Created Vector2D — Vector2D task for Part 1A OOP supo1
- Nov 1, 2025Created The_Mis-Interpreter
- Nov 4, 2025Most recent push to The_Mis-Interpreter
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.