01 · Roasts
CSS Is Not A Programming Language
51% of your codebase is CSS. You're one Flexbox tutorial away from rebranding as a designer. The 'Cloud Magician' bio is doing a lot of heavy lifting here.
Single-Day Sprint Merchant
screaming_chicken_hook: created 2026-04-23, last push 2026-04-23. Your most impressive recent repo had a lifespan measured in hours. Bold. Unverifiable. Very you.
88 PRs, 1 Follower
You opened 88 pull requests this year on other people's repos and somehow convinced exactly zero people to follow you back. That's a networking efficiency of essentially 0%.
The Graveyard Shift
staleRepoRatio = 0.40 — nearly half your repos haven't been touched in 2+ years. Your GitHub profile is 40% abandoned construction sites and 60% 'coming soon' signs.
Cloud Magician, Zero Stars
You describe yourself as a 'Cloud Magician' with HCL in your stack and 22 forks, yet totalStars = 2. The cloud has apparently swallowed your audience whole.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight33F
- Consistency20% weight55D
- Quality20% weight57D
- Depth15% weight45D
- Breadth10% weight65C
- Community10% weight50D
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
108 active days
Language distribution
- CSS51%
- JavaScript16%
- TypeScript7%
- HCL6%
- SCSS5%
- Go5%
- Other10%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
30
Commits
last 12 months
48
Followers
1
Joined GitHub
Mar 2019
05 · Top repos
algebananazzzzz /
screaming_chicken_hook
Humorous macOS shell utility that installs screaming chicken sound notifications for AI coding tools. Well-documented with creative premise, structured setup/uninstall scripts with idempotent JSON/YAML config merging, but minimal adoption (0 stars), limited scope, and untested.
algebananazzzzz /
attendance-bot
Telegram attendance bot using Google Sheets, with working command handlers, typed Python, structured src/ layout, and CI/CD infrastructure. Personal project, no external adoption signals.
algebananazzzzz /
ObsidianVault
Personal Obsidian vault with 4.1 MB of content, alternate documentation (docs/, design.md, ARCHITECTURE.md, STATUS.md), .gitignore, and 30 recent commits over ~3 months. No README, untyped, no tests/CI, no public impact.
algebananazzzzz /
custom-config
Minimal personal dotfiles repo with zero stars/forks, no documentation, only 6 KB across shell script and config files, created and last pushed same day. Single-day burst with 7 commits; no tests, CI, license, or gitignore.
06 · Timeline
- Mar 6, 2019Joined GitHub
- Jan 11, 2026Created ObsidianVault
- Feb 2, 2026Created attendance-bot
- Apr 1, 2026Created custom-config
- Apr 23, 2026Created screaming_chicken_hook
- Apr 23, 2026Most recent push to screaming_chicken_hook
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.