01 · Roasts
4-Second Commit Artist
ancient-heart-3012 was created at 13:59:38Z and last pushed at 13:59:42Z — a 4-second gap that sets the world record for 'shortest time between repo birth and abandonment.' That's not a project, that's a sneeze.
16 Years, 0 Stars
You joined GitHub in May 2009 — 16 years ago — and have accumulated exactly 0 stars across all public repos. That's a commitment to flying under the radar that most people can only dream of.
README Placeholder Hall of Fame
gebaerdensprache-berlin.github.io has had the README text 'More Information will be coming soon' for the better part of a decade. At this point, the 'coming soon' is the feature.
The Astro Monoculture
61% Astro, 28% CSS — your entire GitHub presence is one framework doing one thing. You've turned the concept of a 'tech stack' into a solo performance.
Heatmap Desert
52 weeks × 7 days = 364 cells, all zero. Your contribution graph isn't just empty — it's a philosophical statement about the nature of public commits.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight15F
- Consistency20% weight5F
- Quality20% weight42D
- Depth15% weight20F
- Breadth10% weight30F
- Community10% weight25F
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
0 active days
Language distribution
- Astro61%
- CSS28%
- MDX4%
- HTML3%
- JavaScript2%
- TypeScript2%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
4
Commits
last 12 months
0
Followers
23
Joined GitHub
May 2009
05 · Top repos
cellx /
ancient-heart-3012
Official Astro starter template for blog deployment on Cloudflare Workers. TypeScript-based, fully structured, and documented, but brand-new (created Feb 7, 2025, 2 commits) with zero adoption signals.
cellx /
gebaerdensprache-berlin.github.io
Static website repo for German sign language organization; minimal content (10 KB), sparse commits (3 of last 30), README placeholder only ("More information coming soon"). No tests, CI, or typed code.
cellx /
electrical-ephemera
Unmodified Astro starter template with 0 stars/forks, created 2 hours ago. Contains only scaffolding boilerplate without any meaningful customization or project-specific content.
06 · Timeline
- May 5, 2009Joined GitHub
- Jun 28, 2015Created gebaerdensprache-berlin.github.io — Webspace for http://gebaerdensprache.berlin
- Feb 4, 2025Created electrical-ephemera
- Feb 7, 2025Created ancient-heart-3012
- Feb 7, 2025Most recent push to ancient-heart-3012
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.