01 · Roasts
The Time Capsule Developer
Your last push was September 12, 2014. That's not a career pause — that's a geological epoch. The heatmap is 52 weeks of pure void. GitHub is displaying your profile like an archaeological dig site.
Stub Tests, Real Hubris
has_eav brags HAS_TESTS=yes, but they're stub tests — placeholder skeletons with no assertions. That's not testing, that's theatrical compliance. You put the 'no' in 'no coverage'.
55 Repos, Zero Commits This Year
You have 55 public repos and a totalCommitsYear of exactly 0. That's a ratio so efficient it breaks math. You've built a museum, not a portfolio.
100% Stale Ratio Hall of Famer
staleRepoRatio = 1.0. Every. Single. Repo. Pushed more than 2 years ago. Not 99%. Not 'most of them'. All of them. You achieved a perfect score in the wrong category.
Ruby Monolith in a Polyglot World
71% Ruby, 22% JavaScript, 7% Perl — in 2024 this reads like a vintage wine list from a restaurant that closed in 2014. The Perl is not helping your case.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight25F
- Consistency20% weight55D
- Quality20% weight44D
- Depth15% weight50D
- Breadth10% weight55D
- Community10% weight25F
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
0 active days
Language distribution
- Ruby71%
- JavaScript22%
- Perl7%
- Shell0%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
31
Commits
last 12 months
0
Followers
39
Joined GitHub
Apr 2009
05 · Top repos
coffeeaddict /
kindergarten
Ruby sandbox/permissions library with CanCan integration. Typed access control and method sandboxing. Modest adoption (11 stars), but well-documented and CI-enabled. Last updated 2014 with modest commit volume (30 total).
coffeeaddict /
has_eav
Rails 3 EAV gem with minimal testing (stub tests only) and no CI. Clean lib/has_eav.rb core but thin documentation, untyped Ruby, ~1.5 years of commits ending 2013. Narrow niche adoption (31 stars).
coffeeaddict /
ruote-amqp-ping-pong
Educational example project demonstrating ruote + ruote-amqp + RabbitMQ integration via a ping-pong workflow; minimal maintenance since 2011, untyped Ruby with no tests, incomplete specs, and no license.
06 · Timeline
- Apr 17, 2009Joined GitHub
- Sep 25, 2010Created ruote-amqp-ping-pong — An example of ruote and ruote-amqp
- Dec 10, 2010Created has_eav — Straight forward EAV behaviour for Rails3
- Oct 24, 2012Created kindergarten — A kindergarten for ruby objects to provide Modularity and Security.
- Mar 17, 2014Most recent push to kindergarten
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.