01 · Roasts
Star Famine
11 repos, 239 commits this year, and exactly 0 stars across the entire account. You're shipping in a sensory deprivation chamber — not even your 2 followers have clicked the star button.
The Hackathon Overachiever
goldilocks packs ESP32 firmware, Gemini AI, Next.js, SQLite with 8 normalized tables, AND a voice interface… into 2 days. The depth score had to be capped at 35 because GitHub thinks it's a toddler. Impressive chaos.
README Roulette
crypto-similarity has 6 tests, type annotations, and a multi-module architecture — but no README. You documented every dataclass field and forgot to tell anyone what the project does.
63 Issues, 6 PRs
You opened 63 issues this year but only 6 pull requests. That's a 10:1 complaint-to-fix ratio. Are you filing issues against yourself? Is it working?
Solo Operator
79% solo commits and 2 followers. You're a one-person systems lab — GPU simulators, crypto screeners, IoT climate advisors — but the community tab is basically a tumbleweed.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight48D
- Consistency20% weight60C
- Quality20% weight57D
- Depth15% weight55D
- Breadth10% weight65C
- Community10% weight25F
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
203 active days
Language distribution
- Python47%
- JavaScript25%
- C++15%
- C5%
- CSS2%
- PowerShell2%
- Other4%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
11
Commits
last 12 months
239
Followers
2
Joined GitHub
Jan 2021
05 · Top repos
ivanbard /
telchines
A typed Python CLI-first hardware verification framework with structured workflow support, full test/CI/docs infrastructure, and ~391KB codebase. Single-author, newly shipped project with clear architecture but early adoption.
ivanbard /
GPU-sim
C++ GPU simulation framework with warp scheduler, memory model, and kernel loader. Typed, well-documented architecture (ARCHITECTURE.md, design.md, assumptions.md), structured multi-file layout. No CI/tests in repo, but ships test.sh with regression cases.
ivanbard /
goldilocks
QHacks 2026 hackathon submission: smart home climate advisor for Kingston with ESP32 sensors, AI recommendations, carbon tracking, and voice interface. Typed JS+Node, well-documented, structured architecture, but newly created (2 days old) with 24 commits and no tests/CI.
ivanbard /
crypto-similarity
Python-based cryptocurrency screener analyzing market data from CoinGecko; categorizes assets by bundle (Layer 1, DeFi, etc.), ranks candidates by peer gap ratio, and validates performance through 30-day forward returns. Typed code with structured modules and test suite present but no README or CI/CD documentation.
ivanbard /
my-portfolio
Personal portfolio website built with React + Vite (1051 KB). Demonstrates competent frontend work with theme switching, GitHub API integration, and smooth animations via Framer Motion. No tests or CI; untyped JavaScript. Meaningful scope as a deployed personal project, not a library.
06 · Timeline
- Jan 11, 2021Joined GitHub
- May 3, 2025Created my-portfolio
- Oct 14, 2025Created crypto-similarity
- Feb 5, 2026Created GPU-sim — a small-scale GPU simulator to showcase parallel compute
- Feb 7, 2026Created goldilocks
- Apr 8, 2026Created telchines — the master hardware verification toolkit and framework
- Apr 25, 2026Most recent push to telchines
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.