01 · Roasts
The Heatmap Is a Desert
52 weeks of pure void. Not a single green square in the past year. Your contribution graph looks like a loading screen that never finished.
Mongoose: The Great Ctrl+C of 2015
30 commits in 40 minutes, then radio silence for 9 years. You didn't build mongoose — you copy-pasted it from Google Code and called it a day.
100% Stale Repo Ratio
staleRepoRatio = 1.0. Every single one of your 14 repos was abandoned over 2 years ago. This isn't a portfolio, it's a graveyard.
1 Star Total. Ever.
Across 14 repos, 15 years on GitHub, you have accumulated exactly 1 star. That star is from a GitHub Learning Lab robot.
handhold.me Needed a Handhold
No README, no tests, no CI, 2 commits, 1 HTML file. Whatever this was meant to become, it needed way more than you gave it.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight15F
- Consistency20% weight5F
- Quality20% weight33F
- Depth15% weight35F
- Breadth10% weight40D
- Community10% weight25F
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
0 active days
Language distribution
- C33%
- HTML31%
- CSS23%
- Perl4%
- C#2%
- Python1%
- Other6%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
4
Commits
last 12 months
0
Followers
13
Joined GitHub
May 2009
05 · Top repos
joeinfo888 /
github-slideshow
GitHub Learning Lab training repository using Jekyll to host a basic slideshow. Minimal scope and adoption (1 star), designed as single-use course material rather than a reusable project. Has baseline structure but no tests or substantive depth.
joeinfo888 /
mongoose
A 2015 export of the Mongoose web server from Google Code with no README, no CI/CD, minimal post-export maintenance (30 commits in one day), and zero community adoption (0 stars/forks).
joeinfo888 /
handhold.me
Empty scaffold with single minimal HTML file, no documentation, no tests, and only 2 commits over 2 days. Classic one-shot dump with no meaningful implementation.
06 · Timeline
- May 2, 2009Joined GitHub
- Sep 10, 2015Created mongoose — Automatically exported from code.google.com/p/mongoose
- Jun 19, 2019Created github-slideshow — A robot powered training repository :robot:
- Dec 4, 2023Created handhold.me
- Dec 6, 2023Most recent push to handhold.me
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.