01 · Roasts
The 35-Minute Engineer
Your entire public GitHub career consists of 2 commits made 35 minutes apart on a single afternoon in May 2025. That's not a portfolio — that's a lunch break.
8 Years, 1 README
Joined December 2016. Over 8 years later, the grand total of public output is one markdown file listing skills you haven't demonstrated in code.
Language: Unknown
GitHub's language detector couldn't identify a single programming language in your repos. That's statistically impressive — in the wrong direction.
0 Stars, 0 Forks, 0 PRs
Triple zero across stars, forks, and external PRs this year. The GitHub engagement equivalent of a phone on airplane mode.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight5F
- Consistency20% weight5F
- Quality20% weight10F
- Depth15% weight5F
- Breadth10% weight5F
- Community10% weight25F
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
212 active days
Language distribution
- Unknown100%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
1
Commits
last 12 months
2
Followers
4
Joined GitHub
Dec 2016
05 · Top repos
06 · Timeline
- Dec 25, 2016Joined GitHub
- May 16, 2025Created kovr
- May 16, 2025Most recent push to kovr
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.