01 · Roasts
The Graveyard Keeper
83% of your 56 repos haven't been touched in 2+ years. That's not a portfolio — that's a haunted house where good intentions go to rot.
One-Hour Wonder
avatarro's entire commit history fits inside a single lunch break. Six commits, one hour, then silence. Even fast food takes longer to make.
CSS Hoarder
48% of your codebase is CSS. Nearly half your GitHub identity is just... styling things. At least the buttons look nice.
Burst Coder
Your heatmap is a ghost town for the first 30 weeks then suddenly lights up like a Christmas tree. You don't code — you hibernate, then panic-commit.
Perl in 2009 Was Your Peak
Your most-starred repo (21 ⭐) is a Perl syntax plugin for an editor most people forgot existed. You peaked before the iPhone 3G launched.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight33F
- Consistency20% weight35F
- Quality20% weight44D
- Depth15% weight35F
- Breadth10% weight65C
- Community10% weight40D
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
223 active days
Language distribution
- CSS48%
- JavaScript25%
- Processing11%
- PHP10%
- HTML6%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
18
Commits
last 12 months
64
Followers
92
Joined GitHub
Apr 2009
05 · Top repos
markuszeller /
image-stitcher
Client-side image stitching tool with typed config, localStorage persistence, and 25+ commits. Well-documented SPA using vanilla JavaScript, Tailwind CSS, and DaisyUI themes. No tests or CI, but clean architecture with modular event handling and responsive design.
markuszeller /
perl.sugar
Perl syntax highlighting module for Espresso text editor (2009–2010). Implements comprehensive language grammar with POD, regex, and nested block support. Dormant since 2010 with 21 stars.
markuszeller /
avatarro
Simple one-day avatar generator using vanilla JS noise + outline rendering. 8 stars, 6 commits in ~1 hour, no tests/CI. Untyped code with minimal structure—a quick experimental tool without sustained development.
06 · Timeline
- Apr 7, 2009Joined GitHub
- Apr 7, 2009Created perl.sugar — perl language support as a sugar module for Espresso for Mac
- Apr 21, 2020Created avatarro — Create dynamic avatars
- Aug 29, 2022Created image-stitcher — Stitch images
- Feb 28, 2026Most recent push to image-stitcher
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.