01 · Roasts
The Graveyard Keeper
91% of your repos haven't been touched in 2+ years. Your GitHub profile is less a portfolio and more a PHP archaeological dig site circa 2014.
14 Commits a Year? Really?
You pushed 14 commits in the last year. That's roughly one commit every 26 days. My houseplant has a more consistent watering schedule than you have a commit schedule.
README? Never Heard of Her
react-amqp has no README, no LICENSE file, no tests wired to CI — just vibes and a composer.json. watch at least has CI, but couldn't spare 5 minutes for a README either.
PHP Forever, Apparently
64% PHP in 2026 across 76 repos. The world moved on to TypeScript and Go (both showing 0% in your language breakdown). You have Go in your langPcts but only at a rounding error.
5-Week Wonder
react-amqp lived its entire life — 5 commits over 5 weeks — like a mayfly with a composer.json. 132 KB of ambition, zero of follow-through.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight28F
- Consistency20% weight20F
- Quality20% weight43D
- Depth15% weight45D
- Breadth10% weight55D
- Community10% weight25F
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
171 active days
Language distribution
- PHP64%
- JavaScript24%
- CSS10%
- Python1%
- Go0%
- TypeScript0%
- Other1%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
34
Commits
last 12 months
14
Followers
21
Joined GitHub
Oct 2011
05 · Top repos
mbfisher /
dotfiles
Personal macOS dotfiles repo with structured shell config, neovim, zsh setup, and Homebrew integration. Well-organized for personal use but lacks tests, CI, and broad documentation beyond README and CLAUDE.md.
mbfisher /
watch
PHP filesystem watcher library with inotify support. Has tests and CI but no README, untyped, abandoned since 2014 with minimal adoption (3 stars).
mbfisher /
react-amqp
Experimental PHP/React integration library with minimal documentation, 5 commits over 5 weeks, unfinished codebase lacking README and production-ready structure. No tests run in CI.
06 · Timeline
- Oct 31, 2011Joined GitHub
- Oct 16, 2013Created dotfiles
- Apr 5, 2014Created watch
- Nov 7, 2014Created react-amqp
- Apr 22, 2026Most recent push to dotfiles
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.