01 · Roasts
The 19-Second Architect
nodewarden's entire codebase — 15+ handler files, full auth system, rate limiting, database schema — was dumped in a single 19-second commit window. That's not development, that's a file copy with a README.
92% Graveyard Curator
With a staleRepoRatio of 0.92, your GitHub profile is less a portfolio and more a digital cemetery. 92% of 55 repos haven't been touched in over 2 years. RIP.
1 Commit Per Year Plan
totalCommitsYear=1. One. The GitHub heatmap for your account looks like a night sky with the lights off — 49 out of 52 weeks are completely dark.
The Prolific Non-Contributor
39 followers, 134 following, 0 PRs this year, 0 issues this year. You're paying attention to everyone and contributing to no one.
HTML Majority Shareholder
58% of your codebase is HTML, yet your domain is listed as 'systems' and your most exciting new repo is TypeScript. Your language stats and your self-image are in open conflict.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight30F
- Consistency20% weight5F
- Quality20% weight57D
- Depth15% weight35F
- Breadth10% weight65C
- Community10% weight40D
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
4 active days
Language distribution
- HTML58%
- C++18%
- Python11%
- C7%
- TypeScript3%
- Go1%
- Other2%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
12
Commits
last 12 months
1
Followers
39
Joined GitHub
May 2009
05 · Top repos
opensvn /
nodewarden
Brand-new TypeScript Bitwarden server implementation for Cloudflare Workers with full auth, cipher, and attachment APIs; launched Feb 28, 2026 with minimal commit history and zero adoption yet, but typed, documented, and architecturally sound.
opensvn /
kgc
Minimal SM9 key generation center wrapper for Go using the gmsm library. Typed, tested codebase with 7 test functions but lacks meaningful project documentation beyond a bare README title.
opensvn /
opensvn.github.io
Static HTML documentation site with minimal maintenance since 2015. No README, tests, CI, or meaningful documentation structure. 5.7MB codebase with sporadic commits, last push Dec 2021.
06 · Timeline
- May 4, 2009Joined GitHub
- Sep 18, 2015Created opensvn.github.io
- Jun 16, 2022Created kgc — A simple sm9 kgc wrapper
- Feb 28, 2026Created nodewarden
- Feb 28, 2026Most recent push to nodewarden
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.