01 · Roasts
Famous Last Commits
13,563 followers, 4 commits, 0 READMEs. Your GitHub is less a portfolio and more a post-ironic art installation about the void of documentation.
2,918 Stars, 0 Instructions
Nearly 3,000 people starred dionysus and presumably have zero idea how to install it because you couldn't be bothered to write a single sentence explaining what it does.
The Heatmap Is a Wasteland
Your contribution graph is 52 weeks of empty desert interrupted by a 5-day sugar rush. At least commit to committing.
Shell Supremacist
60% Shell, 14% SCSS, 11% GLSL — you have five languages and they all serve the singular purpose of making your desktop look cool. Breadth by accident, depth by none.
GitHub Tourist (Celebrity Edition)
Joined August 27, 2025. 0 PRs, 0 issues, follows nobody. The only thing louder than your follower count is the silence where your open-source contributions should be.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight25F
- Consistency20% weight20F
- Quality20% weight35F
- Depth15% weight35F
- Breadth10% weight40D
- Community10% weight75B
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
6 active days
Language distribution
- Shell60%
- SCSS14%
- GLSL11%
- Python8%
- CSS7%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
1
Commits
last 12 months
127
Followers
13,563
Joined GitHub
Aug 2025
05 · Top repos
06 · Timeline
- Aug 27, 2025Joined GitHub
- Aug 27, 2025Created dionysus — laptop
- Sep 1, 2025Most recent push to dionysus
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.