01 · Roasts
The Graveyard Gardener
abc-db lasted 20 days, Kazuo lasted 1 day, Monty-Python was a 5-day sprint — your GitHub is less a portfolio and more a museum of abandoned first commits. At least BitBarrel made it past week 4.
Zero Stars, Zero Forks, Zero Chill
12 public repos, 170 commits this year, and a grand total of 0 stars across your entire account. Even your mom hasn't starred your repos.
The 'No Tests' Tax
Not one single repo across your entire portfolio has a test file. You're implementing concurrent log-structured storage with shared mutexes and compaction workers — and trusting that it just works. Bold strategy.
Kafka Who?
Kazuo, your 'Kafka-like broker,' consists of a Main.java hello-world, stub methods returning empty ByteBuffers, and exactly 3 commits spanning 14 minutes. Franz Kafka would call this existentially incomplete.
23 PRs, 3 Followers
You opened 23 pull requests this year on other people's code — more than most developers — yet somehow only 3 people follow you. Either the PRs are getting closed, or GitHub's recommendation algorithm has personally wronged you.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight25F
- Consistency20% weight55D
- Quality20% weight28F
- Depth15% weight50D
- Breadth10% weight65C
- Community10% weight25F
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
109 active days
Language distribution
- C++39%
- Java38%
- Python15%
- C3%
- HTML3%
- CMake0%
- Other2%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
12
Commits
last 12 months
170
Followers
3
Joined GitHub
Aug 2018
05 · Top repos
philippark /
BitBarrel
C++ implementation of BitCask log-structured KV store with core features (get/set/compaction), Python bindings, shared mutexes for thread safety, but lacks tests, CI, and comprehensive error handling for production use.
philippark /
abc-db
Early-stage educational network protocol implementation with incomplete RESP parser, partial socket server/client scaffolding, and no documentation or tests. Lacks direction and production readiness.
philippark /
Monty-Python
Educational bytecode interpreter in C++ demonstrating a stack-based VM with basic arithmetic operations. No README, tests, or CI; minimal scope (~5 KB, 6 of 30 commits in 5 days) — typical tutorial/learning project.
philippark /
Kazuo
Empty scaffold of a Kafka-like broker in Java. 3 commits in one day, no docs, no tests, stub implementations only. Appears to be a fresh code dump with minimal functionality.
philippark /
philippark
Minimal personal repository with only a brief README. No code files sampled, no tests, CI, or license. Created Oct 2024 with sparse activity. Appears to be a placeholder profile or experimental scaffold.
06 · Timeline
- Aug 9, 2018Joined GitHub
- Oct 26, 2024Created philippark
- Feb 2, 2026Created Monty-Python
- Feb 8, 2026Created abc-db
- Mar 2, 2026Created BitBarrel — A log-structured K-V store inspired by BitCask
- Apr 10, 2026Created Kazuo
- Apr 27, 2026Most recent push to BitBarrel
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.