01 · Roasts
The Alfred Whisperer
Three repos, all Alfred workflows, all abandoned between 2013 and 2016. Your entire GitHub legacy is teaching a launcher app to talk to other apps. Bold niche. Bolder exit.
Stars Don't Buy Activity
You have 105 followers and 554 stars but literally zero commits in the past year. The community found your old work — you just weren't there to notice.
PHP: 82%, Ambition: 0%
82% of your codebase is PHP and 100% of it was written before Docker was cool. The staleRepoRatio is a perfect 1.0 — every single repo is dead. That's not a ratio, that's a graveyard.
The Eternal 2014
Your deepest project (alfred-spotify-controls) maxed out at 1599 KB and a 2014 commit. The Spotify API it calls has been deprecated, rewritten, and deprecated again since then.
No Tests, No CI, No Mercy
HAS_TESTS=no, HAS_CI=no across all three repos. AppleScript in 2024 doesn't need tests the same way a museum exhibit doesn't need a fire suppression system.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight55D
- Consistency20% weight55D
- Quality20% weight45D
- Depth15% weight50D
- Breadth10% weight40D
- Community10% weight40D
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
0 active days
Language distribution
- PHP82%
- HTML8%
- JavaScript5%
- Shell3%
- CSS2%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
26
Commits
last 12 months
0
Followers
105
Joined GitHub
Apr 2009
05 · Top repos
phpfunk /
alfred-spotify-controls
Alfred workflow for Spotify control with 305 stars, supporting playback commands, search, and track information via AppleScript and PHP. No tests/CI but structured codebase with wiki documentation.
phpfunk /
alfred-tunnelblick
Alfred workflow for Tunnelblick VPN control. Typed shells scripts with clear README and modular AppleScript, but untyped language, no tests/CI, and last updated 2016.
phpfunk /
alfred-caffeine-controls
Alfred/Caffeine AppleScript integration tool. Personal project from 2011–2013 with 52 stars, minimal structure (no tests/CI), and untyped single-script codebase. Modest documentation but limited contemporary relevance.
06 · Timeline
- Apr 9, 2009Joined GitHub
- Aug 9, 2011Created alfred-spotify-controls — Control Spotify using Alfred App
- Aug 11, 2011Created alfred-caffeine-controls — Control Caffeine from Alfred App
- Dec 23, 2011Created alfred-tunnelblick — Work with Tunnelblick directly from Alfredapp.
- Aug 2, 2016Most recent push to alfred-tunnelblick
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.