01 · Roasts
Vaporware Portfolio
Your profile README loudly claims contributions to Linux and DeepMind ML, yet your entire public GitHub is a 15 KB empty scaffold and a half-baked Cloudflare Worker. The résumé and the receipts are not in the same zip code.
The Great Repo Transfer Mystery
Your 'repository' repo's entire contribution to humanity is a README saying 'all repos transferred to org.' You burned a commit slot to tell us you moved your work somewhere we can't see it. Legendary.
TypeScript Monogamist
100% TypeScript. Two repos. One domain. You've committed to the bit so hard that even your profile repo is TypeScript-typed. Branch out — literally.
617 Commits, 0 Stars
You put in 617 commits this year — solid grind — and the public world rewarded you with exactly zero stars and zero forks. All that energy, hermetically sealed from the universe.
Bio Says It All
Bio: 'I like nothing.' Public stars: 0. Public forks: 0. Followers: 0. Chaitanya, your GitHub is manifesting your bio with terrifying precision.
Built using
Zoral
Shadows one worker for a week, then takes over their job with zero extra setup. Behaves exactly like the original.
zoral.ai
02 · Category breakdown
- Impact25% weight43D
- Consistency20% weight65C
- Quality20% weight34F
- Depth15% weight35F
- Breadth10% weight25F
- Community10% weight40D
03 · Stats
365-day commit heatmap
165 active days
Language distribution
- TypeScript100%
04 · Numbers
Owned repos
non-fork
2
Commits
last 12 months
617
Followers
0
Joined GitHub
Sep 2025
05 · Top repos
staticpayload /
staticpayload
Profile README + minimal Cloudflare Worker scaffold (TypeScript, typed config). Owner claims contributions to linux, DeepMind/Google ML, Firebase, and LangChain—portfolio pattern establishes baseline impact. Worker code incomplete and undocumented; no tests, CI, or production artifact visible here.
staticpayload /
repository
Empty scaffold repo with single commit; README states repos transferred to organization. No functional code, tests, CI, or meaningful project substance.
06 · Timeline
- Sep 22, 2025Joined GitHub
- Feb 22, 2026Created staticpayload — profile README
- Apr 5, 2026Created repository
- Apr 10, 2026Most recent push to staticpayload
07 · Compare
08 · Rubric
How this score was produced
Overall = Σ (category × weight) + gentle top-end curve
Tier thresholds
▸ How the pipeline works
- 01Scrape.Pull every non-fork repo pushed in the last 90 days, plus your contribution calendar, followers, and language byte counts — straight from GitHub's REST & GraphQL APIs.
- 02Triage.A small model reads every repo's file tree + README and picks the 20 files per repo that actually reveal how you code.
- 03Grade each repo. All repos run in parallel through a fast scoring model that reads the picked files and rates each one independently on Impact, Quality, and Depth — with evidence citations.
- 04Aggregate. A larger reasoning model combines the per-repo scores with server-computed stats (heatmap, commit cadence, language entropy, follower count) to produce the 6-dimension profile score + roasts.
- 05Correct.Deterministic server-side checks enforce anchor-scale floors (e.g. a profile with 2,000+ public commits can't score 30 Consistency) and recompute the final verdict.
~90 seconds per profile, ~$0.25 in compute. Total of ~240 files read across your top-12 repos. One rating per GitHub account per day.
▸ Data sources & caveats
- Heatmap & commit totals: GitHub GraphQL
contributionsCollection— covers the last 365 days, includes private repos when the user has opted in (default). - Language %: byte totals across the top 30 owned non-fork repos.
- Curve: a small upward nudge centered on raw score ≈ 70, capping at 100. Prevents specialists from being unfairly penalised for narrow breadth.
- Anchor corrections: when server-measured signals (e.g. privateWorkLikely, multiRepoVolume, follower count) mandate a minimum category score, the aggregation step enforces it. These are signal-conditional, not identity-based floors.